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Read The Manual: We Both Know You Won't
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Deploy On Friday: Goodbye Weekend
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Readme.md: Ignoreme.md
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Immediate Opening: Long Approval Process
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Stakeholder Alignment: Mythical Achievement
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One Click Deployment: Several Click Investigation
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Continuous Improvement: Continuous Meetings
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Password Expired: Memory Also Expired
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Executive Alignment: Calendar Dependent
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Cloud Cost Optimization: Turning Things Off
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SELECT *: Career Limiting Query
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Self-Driving Jalopy: Quality Optional
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Real-Time Analytics: Eventually
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It's 99% Accurate: Except For The Parts That Matter
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It's Always DNS: Even When It's Not
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Mission Critical: Nobody Knows How It Works
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